On Sept. 11 it was exactly two years since my dad passed away. We said goodbye to him at the Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis on that date in 2015.
My mother still misses him deeply, as you might imagine. In fact, we all do.
On the evening of Sept. 11, I visited with Mom by phone and we talked about Dad.
"Sometimes," I said, "I really wish I could talk to him about some things."
"I know you do," Mom replied. "But we can't."
Then I added, "When I think about it though, I don't have to talk to him to get his advice. I pretty much know what he would tell me in any given situation."
That is very comforting to me, because, even though Dad is gone, he and I spent so much time together over the years that I came to know what he believed, what he thought, what he took seriously, and what he thought was nonsense.
Dad's life is an excellent example of how spending time with your family and providing them love and support allows your influence to live on for many years after you are gone.
In my own life, it literally is a tribute to Dad every time I make a right decision.
In the March 3, 2013, Jefferson City News Tribune in Jefferson City, Mo., I had a column about advice from others that I would like to share with you at this time. It mentions my dad, and it is included in the book I have coming out this fall. Consider it a preview:
If we could teach our children to listen to good advice, or to stop and reflect on how a bit of wisdom might apply to their own circumstances, we would be helping them a great deal.
Most of us who have lived a few decades can appreciate what we have learned from life and from others but young people can't always do that.
That's too bad, because they would benefit tremendously if they paid attention to the words of their parents, grandparents, or anyone else who has lived before them. That's not to say that adults have a monopoly on life's wisdom, because they don't. In fact, those of us who are older, if we will admit it, still have much to learn ourselves.
In my own experience, I remember how my dad reminded me to appreciate being young and to take advantage of that while I could. I was out on my own, working hard every day, and paying my own bills. I was frustrated that the money didn't go farther than it did.
My dad simply said, "I would rather be 25 and broke instead of 55 and broken down."
That simple statement put things in perspective. Just having the physical ability to work long days was a blessing in and of itself. If I hadn't listened to Dad, I might have missed that. His words helped me to appreciate where I was in life.
One of my college journalism professors taught me another great lesson. He insisted that we do a good job and be thorough in every task before us. He always used to say, "Trust no one; assume nothing."
Those words sounded cynical to me at first, until I learned that he was teaching us not to believe everything we hear, to take responsibility for our work, and to double-check everything to make sure it was right. "Trust no one; assume nothing." Those words also reminded me that I have responsibilities and that I can't expect someone else to come behind me and fix something that I should have taken care of myself.
Over the years I also learned that other people aren't obligated to give me anything or to make my way easier. It is nice when they do, but no one is required to go out of their way for me. Working hard and making it on our own is sometimes the only option any of us has.
One quote from Mark Twain illustrates this quite well. He once said, "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first!"
Our world faces many problems today, and many of those are well-documented with each news report. In addition, our schools, our communities and our families face many challenges. Some issues are with us today that were nowhere to be seen just 20 years ago.
But the consensus of countless generations tells us that we don't have any concerns anywhere that cannot be addressed by faith, hard work, personal responsibility, good conduct and a healthy sense of perspective.
We should view ourselves realistically in light of all those things.
If we listen to the wisdom of generations long gone, or if we simply listen to our elders who are still living today, they'll tell us of these important truths.
Are we listening?
DAVID WILSON, EdD, OF SPRINGDALE, IS A WRITER, CONSULTANT AND PRESENTER, WHO GREW UP IN ARKANSAS BUT WORKED 27 YEARS IN EDUCATION IN MISSOURI. YOU MAY E-MAIL HIM AT [email protected]. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR.
Editorial on 09/27/2017