As a child in elementary school, Valentine's Day wasn't a big event for me. In third grade I liked a girl named Nancy. I didn't like her very long because when I told her I liked her, she kicked me. End of liking Nancy.
The down-side of Valentine's Day in elementary school was the teachers wanted us to give Valentine Cards or notes to everyone in the class, and that was a bummer: I didn't even know most the kids in class.
In fifth grade, I liked Mrs. Wells. She was the only person in school to whom I wanted to give a card. When mom took me to the 5-cent & 10-cent store (we called it the dime store), I bought the usual bag of cheapies for the class, but found a good one for Mrs. Wells. I waited until no one was looking, and quickly put the card on her desk. None of the other kids knew what I had done until Mrs. Wells called me up and gave me a hug.
Have you ever been embarrassed to tears and elated up into the clouds at the same time? That was me.
Fast forward eight years.
In college, I met a girl named Carol Ann Winton. Okay, you probably figured it out. Yes, she has been Carol Ann Linzey for more than 52 years now. Back in 1964-1966 when I saw her across campus walking to class, I broke into a run to walk with her. Just being with her pumped joy into my life! It still does!
In 1965 Valentine's Day was on Sunday, I was 18 years old, and Carol and I were attending SCC (Southern California College: now Vanguard University of Southern California). I remember thinking: "If Carol accepts my invitation to the Valentine Banquet, I'll know that she is the girl I will marry." So, nervously, I asked her.
Guess what? She didn't kick me and I was elated. Yes friends, she accepted. I was thrilled to tears but not embarrassed; and for the first time since I was in fifth grade, Valentine's Day was a special event.
Our wedding was on Aug. 22, 1966 -- my 20th birthday anniversary.
I would be lying if I said we never had a problem. We are human beings with minds of our own, wills of our own, and our own stubbornness. But through the years the stubbornness has worn down because we wanted to love each other.
Did you read that last sentence? We WANTED to love each other.
The meaning is this: We were young and loved each other with an immature love. But because we made a commitment to each other, and expressed that commitment to the church, to our friends, and to God, we worked through the problems.
And listen: Because we wanted to love each other, we learned what it meant, what it took and how to do it. Learning to truly love isn't easy. It requires that we put our pride aside, release our stubbornness, and go out of our way to help our mate, even if we don't want to. And it works both ways. Therefore, our love matured.
In 1969 while working at Boeing Aircraft Company in Everett, Wash., one of my workmates had just become divorced -- for the 3rd time. As we were discussing marriage, he said, "I'm sorry for you: you're trapped and can't have any fun."
"You've got it wrong." I responded. "I can go out with anyone I want, wherever I want, whenever I want. And no one can stop me."
"You're full of it! How do you get away with that while being married?"
"My wife is the person I always want to go out with. We go everywhere together, and we always have fun." That embarrassed him, or angered him, and he walked away.
We're working on our 53rd year now, and I've never been sorry that I married her. That is a true statement. You see, love is a decision.
Please understand: We haven't always been happy with each other, but we never forget that we love each other. We stay together, work through the issues, and the happiness always returns. Happiness and emotions are fluid, but our love is solid. That way there is never a breach in our marriage.
And our lives are anchored in a relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ. The Love of God is the lubricant that keeps our gears running smoothly
Happy Valentine's Day.
GENE LINZEY IS A SPEAKER, AUTHOR, AND MENTOR. SEND COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS TO [email protected]. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR.
Editorial on 02/13/2019