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Having unpredictable weather and the "Virus" for news, I am printing the following for fun, and, yes, a little truth.

Great Truths that Little Children Have Learned:

1. No matter how hard you try, your can't baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Never hold a Dust-buster and a cat at the same time.

8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9.The best place to be when you're sad is grandmother's lap.

Great Truths that Adults have Learned:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Families are like fudge--mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

5. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.

Great Truths About Growing Old.

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5. It's frustration when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Happy birthday to Sara Bradley, Derek Abshier, Roy Moorman, Jean Graham, Amanda Taylor, Diana Russell, Justin Pitts, Eric Snarr and David Snarr (twins), Patrick Swope, Logan Wofford, Tucker Standifer, Krista Boyd, Kelly McJunkin, Linda Freeman, Isaiah King, Mary Ann Lockhart, Billy Reed, Gene Pharr.

Happy anniversary to J.W. and Darlene Cheatham, Bobby and Diana Russell, Dean and Misty Cheatham, Dick and Nikki Bradley.

--MARIE ROY IS A LONG-TIME RESIDENT OF LINCOLN AND HAS WRITTEN A COMMUNITY COLUMN FOR THE ENTERPRISE-LEADER FOR MANY YEARS. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR.

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